When I say that I mean it for more than just the warmth and light of the true sun. It also means the warmth and light in my life. Ever notice how sometimes, now matter how bright it is outside, we are cloudy inside ourselves? When someone in our life is ill, it can seem pretty cloudy inside. I’m one of those people that is typically happy and always smiling. Last September, changed that. It’s not that I’m now unhappy and sad, but that the “sun” has dimmed a bit in my life.
Many of you have been following the journey my husband Don and I have been going through with his terminal brain cancer these past 8 months. To say it’s been tough, is very much an understatement. It’s the hardest thing we’ve ever gone through.
I met Don when I was 18 years old, in Germany while serving in the US Army. After a whirlwind 7 months, we married. This July will be our 35th anniversary. We grew into adulthood together. Life hasn’t always been easy, we are both hard headed, but it has been good. He truly is my best friend.
This eight month roller coaster has had more downs than ups, medically. In the last scan, it showed 2 more spots. I always dread MRI day, which is every 6 weeks. It is so hard to see this disease gain ground. As the disease progresses I see changes in him. Mentally. He forgets things, can’t remember the day of the week or how to work the cable box. He has little stamina and sleeps a lot.
So sometimes if you see me, and I’m not smiling, know it’s not that I’m unhappy or mad, but life is just a bit cloudy that day for me.